I could imagine the frustration pulling his black eyebrows together and crumpling his forehead. If I’d been there, I might have laughed. Don’t give yourself a brain hemorrhage, Jacob, I would have told him. Just spit it out.

The word boyfriend had me chewing on the inside of my cheek with a familiar tension while I stirred. It wasn’t the right word, not at all. I needed something more expressive of eternal commitment… But words like destiny and fate sounded hokey when you used them in casual conversation.

It worked — your cooking skills have me soft as a marshmallow.

You and Billy gossip like old women.

I want to be a monster, too.

If Jacob hadn’t helped me… I’m not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better than this, Edward.

Alice was scrutinizing my boring jeans-and-a-t-shirt outfit in a way that made me self-conscious. Probably plotting another makeover. I sighed. My indifferent attitude to fashion was a constant thorn in her side. If I’d allow it, she’d love to dress me every day — perhaps several times a day — like some oversized three-dimensional paper doll.

I’m sure I still have boundaries — like the continental U.S., for example.

You know how I am with tools. No pain was inflicted intentionally.

It’s not like I’m headed off to Vegas to be a showgirl or anything. I’m going to see Mom.

Interceded? You threw me to the sharks!

Edward and Alice playing chess was one of the funniest things I’d ever seen. They’d sat there nearly motionless, staring at the board, while Alice foresaw the moves he would make and he picked the moves she would make in return out of her head. They played most of the game in their minds; I think they’d each moved two pawns when Alice suddenly flicked her king over and surrendered. It took all of three minutes.

Please tell me you are not trying to have a sex talk with me, Charlie.

I really wish you were not forcing me to say this out loud, Dad. Really. But… I am a… virgin, and I have no immediate plans to change that status.

Renée is so much more… perceptive than Charlie in some ways. It was making me jumpy.

With a sense of astonishment, I realized that Jacob looked dangerous to them. How odd.

Edward cut him off mid-sentence, and his face was abruptly frightening — truly frightening. For a second, he looked like… like a vampire.

So the consensus was that I was just supposed to forget that a deranged vampire was stalking me, intent on my death.

Alice was certainly just as capable of crippling my truck as Edward was.

I love him. Not because he’s beautiful or because he’s rich! I’d much rather he weren’t either one. It would even out the gap between us just a little bit — because he’d still be the most loving and unselfish and brilliant and decent person I’ve ever met. Of course I love him. How hard is that to understand?

You know, Jacob, you’re awfully self-righteous — considering that you’re a werewolf and all.

Normal humans can’t throw motorcycles around the way you can.

Most people fall in and out of love many times in their lives. It was just that I’d seen Sam with Emily, and I couldn’t imagine him with someone else. The way he looked at her… well, it reminded me of a look I’d seen sometimes in Edward’s eyes — when he was looking at me.

Am I the only one who has to get old? I get older every stinking day! Damn it! What kind of world is this? Where’s the justice?

I’m a pro at weird.

I don’t care who’s a vampire and who’s a werewolf. That’s irrelevant. You are Jacob, and he is Edward, and I am Bella. And nothing else matters.

I believe that. But I want you to know something — when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I’m out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family. You are… well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence. I don’t care who’s a werewolf and who’s a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too.

You’re kidnapping me, aren’t you?

Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior.

You are in trouble. Enormous trouble. Angry grizzly bears are going to look tame next to what is waiting for you at home.

Porsches as bribes and king-sized beds in houses where nobody slept — it was beyond irritating.

Why don’t you just lock me in the basement, and forget the sugar coating?

So what’s the latest pack scandal?

I traded a lifetime of servitude for a box of conversation hearts. That’s not something I’m likely to forget.

I’m going to spontaneously combust one of these days — and you’ll have no one but yourself to blame.

You can hold me hostage any time you want.

There’s… well, there’s this other problem that’s slightly more worrisome than a bratty teenage werewolf…

Is it really so impossible to wear clothes, Jacob?

Okay! Time for the werewolf to get out!

It was stupid to want to go hang out with a bunch of big idiot wolf-boys right now when there was so much that was frightening and unexplained going on. Of course, that was exactly why I wanted to go. I wanted to escape the death threats, for just a few hours . . . to be the less-mature, more-reckless Bella who could laugh it off with Jacob, if only briefly.

Hanging out with no one but extremely dexterous people all the time was going to give me a complex.

Other than a few teasing complaints — mostly by Paul — about keeping the bloodsucker stench downwind, I was treated like someone who belonged.

What’s the best part? You swallowing an entire cow whole?

I’m not that girl, Edward. The one who gets married right out of high school like some small-town hick who got knocked up by her boyfriend!

I hate being babysat.

I wanted to make both of them get out of their cars and shake hands and be friends — be Edward and Jacob rather than vampire and werewolf. It was as if I had those two stubborn magnets in my hands again, and I was holding them together, trying to force nature to reverse herself…

I miss you when you’re not there. When you’re happy, it makes me happy. But I could say the same thing about Charlie, Jacob. You’re family. I love you, but I’m not in love with you.

can’t wait to see what Edward does to you! I hope he snaps your neck, you pushy, obnoxious, moronic DOG!

I’ll give you passionate. Murder, the ultimate crime of passion.

If I think about you tonight, it will be because I’m having a nightmare.

That was not kissing back, that was trying to get you the hell off of me, you idiot.

I punched a werewolf in the face.

I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy. Why not?

Stupid, thieving, annoying vampire!

Well, everyone can relax. Nobody’s trying to exterminate the Cullens after all.

In case my right hook was too subtle for you, let me translate: that was me uninviting you.

People — well, vampires and werewolves really, but still — people I loved were going to get hurt. Hurt because of me. Again. I wished my bad luck would focus a little more carefully

Two voices struggled inside me. One that wanted to be good and brave, and one that told the good one to keep her mouth shut.

I leaned into him, ducking my head under his arm and cuddling into his side. It probably felt similar to snuggling with Michelangelo’s David, except that this perfect marble creature wrapped his arms around me to pull me closer.

I didn’t have the faintest idea how to be seductive. I would just have to settle for flushed and self-conscious.

I already know how strong you are. You didn’t have to break the furniture.

There isn’t much that’s traditional about you and me.

You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama — twirling my mustache while I try to steal some poor girl’s virtue.

Show me the damn ring, Edward.

The urge to fight must be a defining characteristic of the Y chromosome. They were all the same.

But I don’t count that as a kiss, Jacob. I think of it more as an assault.

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